I don’t want to speak up until it’s an absolute certainty, but there’s a good chance I’ll be moving next month into a classic 3rd-floor studio apartment downtown, just like I’d planned. That alone will make all this work worth it.

Otherwise, I’m just playing things real, real mellow. Not pushing myself too hard. Doing everything I can do to save money w/o compromising on basic principles like buying organic groceries or staying involved with my friends.

If it seems like I’m being even more quiet than usual, it’s because I am. If it seems like I’m focusing an unusual amount of energy towards just earning a living, it’s because I am. If it’s seems like I’m ignoring my cellphone on a regular basis, it’s because I am. There’s not much more I could say about that except “please continue to be patient”.

I’ve set ahead of myself a definite finish-line at Labor Day, after which I promise I will collapse in a tired heap like a marathon runner and go back to sleeping-in on weekends again. But Labor Day is still a long ways off. So I continue to plod on…

Whenever I feel slightly over-worked or stressed, I tend to go into hermit mode. It’s my basic means of coping with stress. I don’t answer my phone unless it’s important. I don’t go out; I try to avoid spending any money at all on anything other than absolute necessities like food & soap. I lay around at home. Play some Emmylou Harris records. Surf the net. Kinda like I’m doing now. It’s not so bad.

Today, all the windows & both doors in the house are wide open. It’s a gorgeous summer day. Mid-80s, blue sky sunny. The city I live in, Bellingham, sits at the foot of a massive snow-capped volcano called Kulshan (or Mount Baker). On a clear day, it seems impossibly close. Like walking distance. It’s always startling to be in shorts and t-shirt– barefoot even, maybe down by the bay– and look over your shoulder to see this barren, icy white glacier looming right above the town.

Something about looking up at Koma Kulshan seems symbolic of my whole situation. It’s certainly wonderful just to be down here at bottom, but I can’t help thinking “Wouldn’t it be cool to be up there on the peak right now? I wonder if I could manage that climb… What gear would I need? What training?” I don’t want to belabor this metaphor too much, but you see what mean.

Let’s talk goals again. That’s what this is really all about. I’m a lazy person by nature; I wouldn’t be working nearly this hard if I didn’t have some definite, attainable goals in mind. If you’re wondering what I’ve been so intensely focused on, well, here it is:

Short-term (as soon as I can save-up the cash):

1. Buy a bike.
2. Buy a futon.
3. Buy a guitar.
4. Get my passport.

Mid-term (by August 31st, 107 days and counting):

1. Move into a studio downtown. (I currently share a house with two other guys and I’m really looking forward to having my own space again)
2. Decide on a permanent 2nd job and get hired. (My current side-job at the greenhouse only runs through the summer. As it stands now, working 2 jobs is the only way I’ll be able to afford the rent if I move into my own studio.)
3. Park my car for good. (I only drive about 50 miles a month as it is. With a little extra effort– and a decent bike– I could drop that down to zero.)

Long-term (by 2012. One year into a five-year plan. None of these have changed since 2007):

1. Finish my long-putoff Bachelor’s degree, become a scientist.
2. Meet a girl. Fall in love. Get married.
3. Payoff all of my debts to zero.
4. Buy a sailboat.
5. Walk the Pacific Crest Trail from Canada to Mexico.

Somewhere in there I’d like to write more. Somewhere in there I’d like to travel around and meet see all of you again. Somewhere in there I’d like to carve out the time & energy to at least return my voicemails promptly.

For now, I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not making it a higher priority. I’m happy out here, but the life I’ve set in front of me is fairly challenging. Give me time.

Crossing my fingers that the one last thing on the checklist that’s out of my control– getting the carpet cleaned– goes smoothly.

Last day of work tomorrow. Last day of Phoenix tomorrow. California here I come.

Wish I had more time to blab about it here, but unfortunately there’s still a lot of items on the checklist at the moment. I’m confident I’ll have ‘em all checked off by Friday, though. All systems are go.

My daddy-o called a couple of times with album suggestions for the trip out to California. Dierks Bentley. Traffic. The Allman Brothers’ Eat a Peach. Great music for lost highways. Like I told him, the man’s never steered me wrong. My dad & I have similar taste in tunes, due in part probably because I grew up listening to the sound of his classic LPs rumble through the house from his desk upstairs. Music is timeless.

I posted my first [Craig's List] ad last night, in the “free stuff” section, and was bowled over by the response. I must have gotten 30 emails in the span of 15 minutes, when I had to pull the ad back down to stem the tide.

So the rest of my day this evening was spent fielding emails and briefly meeting a string of random hipsters of all ages, who’d graciously agree to haul away some of my unnecessary baggage– coffee table, desk, lamps, a monitor,…– and were stopping by to pick up their merch. Outstanding.

I feel lighter already. Let the journey begin.

Have a kickin weekend, ladies and gents.

Meanwhile, back in the present: we’re inside 3 weeks, and I’m starting to get antsy. Got some necessary repairs done on the Honda over the weekend to get her back to roadtrip-worthy condition. Took the mechanic 8 hours to change the timing belt and water pump; not used to cars that had been through Michigan winter, he seemed freaked out by all the rust on everything. He told me he’d been afraid that everything he touched was going to break off in his hands. Now that sure fills me with a feeling of confidence in this machine…

One of the engine mounts *did* break, in fact, which jacked up the bill to $650 instead of the expected $400. (Though I’m perhaps heartened slightly that this may be my last repair bill… ever? knock wood.)

Just remembered I have to make a quick run up to [the Wall] tonight to buy some hair gel (one *more* thing I won’t be missing about my corporate office job…)

18 is starting to seem like kind of a small number.

Getting in to crunch time.

Wish me luck.

I’m really tired again today. Feel like sleeping for another 12 hours. Every day I wish I could just pack up and drive out of this dust bowl. 3 weeks to go.

Closing in on 30 days to go. Don’t worry, I’ll have these caught up to current by the time I leave.

Although, the nice thing about the sub-$50 range is that you’re basically funding the operation from your loose change jar. So the losses are more psychological than fiscal, like loosing the pot in a no-stakes poker game.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing this just to learn how to do it, not to actually make money. I can see myself loosing money at this, even. Ah well. Even if it doesn’t sell, I can at least say “I tried” as I toss the thing over the back fence.